Here are reviews of all the huevos rancheros I've eaten. All huevos were consumed in Albuquerque, NM, and served over-easy with green chile, unless otherwise noted. The number in parentheses following some of the restaurant names indicates how many times I've had their huevos.

Flying Star (2)
Formerly known as Double Rainbow, aka Double Rip-off, Flying Star was the site of my first foray into the world of huevos. When I had nothing to compare them to, I thought they were great. Now, however, I see their shortcomings. For one thing, they're served on a flour tortilla, a giant flour tortilla that overhangs the edges of the plate in a very unwieldy manner. You have no choice in how your eggs are cooked; they're over-medium every time. The first time I ordered them, I got them Christmas (that's red and green chile both), but the green chile was so much better than the red with the eggs and cheese that I've stuck with green every time I've eaten huevos since. Anyway, they do come with some very good potatoes, and the chile is okay, and you can't beat being able to browse magazines from Flying Star's newsstand while you eat. So although they're not the best in town, I'd still recommend them.

The Range (5)
My dad warned me that huevos from yuppie restaurants like Flying Star and the Range wouldn't be as good as those from more authentic places. Maybe it says something about me, but so far, my favorite huevos are the Range's. They're served on blue corn tortillas with pinto beans, delicious cheese, perfectly hot chile, and fried, diced potatoes. They're not runny, they're very flavorful, and they're very hearty. I think they're just about perfect.

Abuelita's, Bernalillo, NM (3)
My parents are big fans of Abuelita's, a little family-owned place in Bernalillo with pink walls. It's often filled on Sunday mornings with National Guardsmen from the nearby base and families hanging out after church. Their huevos are classic and delicious, but you have to remember to order a side of potatoes with them.

Papa Felipe's
I've renamed Papa Felipe's "Papa Felipe's House of Meat." I went here with my parents. My dad and I both ordered the huevos with a side of papitas (potatoes) and sat back and waited for the deliciousness to come pouring in. While we waited, I ate as much chips and salsa as I possibly could. Well, imagine our surprise when the waitress brought us our huevos and they were full of ground beef! I swear, I've never seen anything like it, and as this was actually my 26th plate of huevos, I've had plenty of experience. So we told the waitress we were vegetarians and sent them back. My dad actually is not a vegetarian, but he didn't want the weird ground beef, so he pretended. The waitress said, "Okay, but if you're a vegetarian, you'll also want to avoid our salsa." Have you ever heard of salsa with meat in it? Neither had I. And I had just eaten a ton of it.

After the waitress left, my mom said, "Oh, I knew the huevos had meat in them. I guess I should have told you." I haven't eaten meat in 12 years. The woman knows I don't eat meat. Sometimes I really wonder.

A few minutes later, the waitress came back and said, "We have another problem. The potatoes have bacon on them." My poor dad, who probably would have loved potatoes with bacon, had to keep up the pseudo-vegetarian act, so he asked for rice. "It's cooked with chicken." Finally, he settled on corn, and I ordered extra beans. I'm very suspicious of the fact that she never said anything about the beans being cooked in lard or with pork or something. Beans are almost always cooked with lard, and I observe a don't-ask-don't-tell policy. If I know something has meat in it (like the salsa), I can't eat it. If there's just a chance it might but I don't ask and find out for sure, then I'm okay.

Anyway, our new huevos came back, and they were all right. The eggs were actually cooked about perfectly, and the beans and chile were good. But they were served on flour tortillas. Other annoying things about the restaurant included these bizarre backs of the booths that were cut on a slant, so it looked like you were sitting in a sinking ship or experiencing an earthquake. Also, the bartender came and introduced himself to the two tough guys sitting behind us just because they were drinking margaritas and tried to act all cool and failed. So all in all, it was not a good huevos-eating experience in any way.

Hurricane's
I ate huevos rancheros at Hurricane's with my very good friend Sabrina. I think this was the largest plate of huevos I've had yet. Greasy and filling. I can't remember any more specifics, but I definitely liked them.

Garcia's
Garcia's is one of my favorite New Mexican restaurants, but unfortunately, their huevos were nothing too special. They weren't bad or anything, but you if you're eating there, you might prefer to order the enchiladas (for extra protein, order enchiladas with an egg over-easy on top).

Calico Cafe, Corrales, NM
Oh, these were bad. They actually tasted healthy. Can you imagine? Served with rice instead of potatoes and chile with no bite to it at all. They tasted light. It was strange. Why would chile, cheese, and eggs taste light? I have no idea.

Monroe's
Usually, when I go to Monroe's, I order a grilled cheese and french fries. They make the best grilled cheese in town, in my opinion. However, their huevos were just so-so.

Hello, Deli!
Obviously, one should avoid ordering Mexican food at a place called Hello, Deli! Stick to deli food, stupid. These were very bad. I don't remember why, but I remember they were terrible.

La Choza, Santa Fe, NM (2)
These were pretty good. Not as good as some others, but that's okay, because La Choza has lots of other good things to eat. Instead of potatoes, they're served with posole, which is okay, but I'm not that crazy about posole. One thing in La Choza's favor is that the huevos come with sopaipillas and honey.

Millie's
I don't remember a single thing about these huevos. They must have been okay, not too bad, not too good. Hmm.

La Casita, Bernalillo, NM
La Casita served the runniest huevos I've ever had. It was like a watery pile of greenness with watery cheese, watery beans, and watery eggs. I would not recommend them.

Casa de Benavidez
These were very good. The ambience at the restaurant leaves something to be desired (it's sort of like a snack bar at the State Fair in there), but I'm told that this is only because they're under construction and that normally, it's actually very nice, and will be again sometime. Either way, there's no arguing with delicious huevos rancheros. I don't remember what kind of potatoes they came with or anything like that, but I'd order them again without hesitation.

My cousin Hilary's house, Lovington, NM
I stayed with my cousin and her husband Charlie for a couple of days this summer, and Hilary made me some of the best huevos ever. A sure sign that they were delicious is that she somehow forgot the cheese, and none of us even noticed. Charlie cooked the beans. If you ever have the opportunity to eat the Palmers' huevos rancheros, take it.

The Range, Bernalillo, NM (2)
The aforementioned Range, in Albuquerque, is actually the second Range restaurant. The original, in Bernalillo, has exactly the same wonderful huevos. Both restaurants, incidentally, have great art on the walls and artistic furniture to sit on. The only downside is that they're a little overpriced.

Plaza Cafe, Santa Fe, NM
These were sort of dodgy. I had them before the Burning of Zozobra in September. The restaurant, one of the few that was open that evening (most of them had closed early for the fiestas), was very crowded, and even though it's a really old family restaurant, and I appreciate the history, I've always gotten a weird vibe from it. The people seem kind of snotty there. I guess that comes from serving tourists on the Plaza all the time. One neat thing is that they have a list of the phone numbers of state and local politicians posted on the wall. I don't know, I just liked that. Once again, huevos that were only okay. I wouldn't go out of my way to eat them again.

Silver Grill Cafe, Fort Collins, CO
Poor, poor Colorado. So close to New Mexico, with none of the good food. While visiting my baby sister at grad school in Fort Collins, I ate at a restaurant that purported to be New Mexican style, and they didn't even put chile on the enchiladas, which instead rested on a bed of unadulterated grease. I wasn't expecting much when I ordered the Silver Grill's New Huevos Rancheros (the "new" is a bad sign). The menu said they were sandwiched between two flour tortillas, which to me makes them quesadillas, and served with salsa and green chile. For some reason, Coloradans like their green chile in the form of a creamy gravy, and this is what they put on the huevos. The salsa was actually just diced tomato. Even though they're not at all my idea of what huevos rancheros should be, for what they were, they were pretty good. Instead of huevos rancheros, I think they should be called egg quesadilla. The potatoes were especially delicious. They called them hash browns, but they were big ol' slices such as normal people would call home fries. If I go to the Silver Grill again next time I'm in town, I wouldn't mind ordering these.

Jennifer Rae Atkins

October 4, 2002